I've spent a fair amount of my adult life job hunting. I'm had a good few job interviews. Without a doubt my favourites were English teacher job interviews in Rome - the schools tended to be directed by expats so most of the interview was spent chatting. "Where are you from?" "What brings you to Rome?" etc. At my old school, the director, who was a fabulous boss and is still a friend, asked me if I wanted to be called by my full name, Mary Jane, and when I said no, was relieved. "Oh, thank goodness, because you know, I didn't want to say but that's the nickname I've always used for...down there." The lady parts!! I laughed, wondering if it was some kind of psychometric interview test. No, as it turned out, it was just hilarious. I got the job and worked there happily for 2 years.
Finding a teaching job in the UK was not quite so much fun. When our PGCE tutors explained how the application and interview process worked, I couldn't quite believe it. You have to fill in a long, boring application form. You have to tailor your personal statement/cover letter to show explicitly how you meet all the job specification criteria...and there can be ALOT of them, and they can be as soul-destroying as "knows how to use assessment data to drive up performance in the school". And then you go to the interview, and it's NOT just an interview. You have to teach a trial lesson. To a class of pupils you don't know. On a subject not of your own choice. While being observed by any members of the interview panel/senior management team who feel like it. ARRRRGHHHHH!!! I said right then and there that that was it, I didn't want a job after all.
Existential crises and adolescent petulance were eventually dominated by financial pressure and I caved in and started the long hours in front of my laptop, writing job applications (sometimes with tears literally streaming down my face, as my boyfriend can testify). The repetitiveness, the boredom: every school has its own form, often formatted really BADLY, and if you have 7 years of work history to cram in you end up spending alot of time copying and pasting. I've said it once, and I'll say it again: don't bother with interesting life experience, guys, it just makes form-filling take so much longer. (The personnel officer at my new school agrees with me - she called the other day to say my Criminal Records Bureau check form is "too long - why are there all these addresses?" I was like "well, I was going to leave some out but then I realised it would be falsifying an official document". It's not just a list: it's my life!)
Anyway, eventually a few of those forms came good and I had a total of 3 job interviews before being offered one. So here, for posterity, for the record and, hopefully, for comedy value, I will give an overall precis of my experiences.
Teaching Job Interviews, an idiot's guide: the routine
1) get dressed. This is hard - schools are mostly (until Gove interferes further - the kids already have to dress as if they're presenting to the board every single day) somewhat less smart than a corporate environment. Guys at teaching job interviews go for suits and ties, but as a girl you don't necessarily need a suit jacket. I've seen other girls in things like coloured tights and nail varnish, but I tried to go a bit blander than that. You have to balance dressing to impress with knowing you'll have to give a lesson to unknown teenagers in that outfit - so necklines and hemlines absolutely must be modest and attention-deflecting: Personally I like to give teenage boys as little masturbation-fodder as possible...that's what the internet's for, right?!
2) turn up on time. Since schools start so ridiculously early (generally 8.30am - I'm sure 9 was more normal when I was a child) you will probably have to leave your house shortly after 7. One of the times on the PGCE course where I most felt like I was losing it was in front of the computer one morning at 6.45, trying to choose articles to use at the following day's job interview so I could prepare the lesson during that day's job interview, which experience had taught me would involve alot of waiting around (consecutive interviews = rubbish, especially because teaching interviews do take a WHOLE day), being unable to make a thoughtful decision because it was too early in the morning and my stress levels were too high, and dissolving into tears. Bad times.
3) scope out the competition. I bumped into tons of other students from my university on every occasion, which could be awkward and competitive but I prefer to focus on socialising and friend-making. Chances are, you'll spend a fair amount of time hanging around in a waiting room with these people. It'll be less painful if you get on. I met several incredibly cool people and had some (borderline hysterical) laughs in interview waiting rooms.
4) tour of the school...I had one tour from the head of english which was terrible - we were all trying to ask intelligent questions and impress her. A tour from kids is less pressure, but of course you get specially prepped kids who will answer all your questions by telling you how much they love the school and how there's no bullying there. On one tour I was on, one of the other candidates escaped in the music block and serenaded us with some amazing piano playing - I don't think it impressed the deputy showing us around, but personally I would have given him a job on the spot.
5) trial lesson. Undoubtedly the most stressful part of the whole business - ok, so the interview part is no walk in the park, but at least YOU are in control of what you say. Working with 20+ kids is another thing altogether. I must say, though, that in general the schools do give you nice kids with no major behaviour problems, and having senior staff in the room observing you can only help with their behaviour. Other interview candidates have told me horror stories about kids swearing and throwing things even during an observation from the headteacher, but I guess that's indicative of the school atmosphere in general. My worst experience was when the school had picked just one group for ALL the trial lessons that day, rather than moving them around. I was the seventh of eight candidates to go in and teach the same children who'd been sitting in the classroom for more than 2 hours...poor things! the boredom and restlessness was tangible.
Schools tell you what your lesson needs to be on. Some are massively anal about it ("choose one assessment focus from the Assessing Pupils' Progress grid...") and some are relaxed ("A 20-minute Outstanding lesson on any aspect of English you want"). I found the latter actually more difficult, mostly because I thought I would be judged on my choice of material as well as my teaching...in the end I went for a poem.
Just remember the golden rule - your USB stick WILL NOT WORK! or even if it does, the video you wanted to play to be all fun and get the kids on-side will not work. And while trying to get it to play you'll probably press the "help" button that summons an ICT technician to the classroom, because that's how these things go...I wondered why all the kids were sniggering to themselves. In my second trial lesson I felt so rushed and harrassed that I opted to go old-school and not bother with the PowerPoint at all, and I felt like it was worth it just for the look of surprise on the other teacher and the kids' faces.
It's much easier when you can address kids by name so giving out name labels for them to fill in is a good way to start. The awful thing is you know you're being judged on your "ability to relate to teenagers", so you have to do lots of bending down to talk to individuals, which is fine with your own class but with children who don't even know you and who you are with for 20 minutes...seems really uncomfortable and forced. Just do it. Similarly, you feel pressure to smile and laugh alot even when things are not going your way or your stupid video will not play. You want the observers to see energy and enthusiasm...so again, just do it.
6) you stumble out and, if you're lucky, it's time for lunch. One school provided no lunch and said we were free to go out and buy overpriced sandwiches from coffee chains. The other two provided bog-standard sandwiches from the canteen, but at least they were free. None of the schools I interviewed at asked us to eat in the canteen with staff or pupils but I imagine a lot do - but trying to eat and interact with children at the same time would be HARD. And, you know, unhygienic, I think kids' school blazers are probably the single most bacteria-harbouring item in the modern wardrobe.
7) interview time! you're so relieved at having survived the trial lesson (and, if you managed to do your plenary you'll be ecstatic) that you're relatively relaxed. But try to remember you're still aiming to make a good impression. In my first (unsuccessful, needless to say) interview they asked me "where do you see yourself in 5 years?" and I responded with "I'd like to have friends on the staff." Apparently you're supposed to talk about your ambitions or something...whatevs, my sights were firmly set on having someone to bitch to about the management. It's good to ask questions about the school and, in fact, these interviews were the first when I felt like I genuinely had questions I wanted answered - about departmental structure, set texts, teacher choice - whereas usually it's a matter of frantically racking your brains so as not to seem apathetic. However many you ask, though, you'll always realise afterwards you've forgotten that crucial detail.
8) get out! Escape, breathe a sigh of relief, go home and fret. Teaching interviews are different from normal jobs - they generally decide then and there and tell the successful candidate that evening. To make matters worse, it's bad form not to accept instantly - you can ask for a bit of time, but more than a day or two is stretching it - and you're then not allowed to change your mind and back out of a job offer, because it would cost the school alot of money and you could be blacklisted by the local authority. (Well, nowadays there's alot of Academies around who are outside local authority control...but apparently really pissed off and vindictive headteachers have been known to call other schools with vacancies and badmouth you - nightmare).
Teaching interviews: they seem like an unsurmountable problem, but I managed to be offered a job, so, you know...maybe the standard's not actually that high. ;-)
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